3 Tips to be a Better Communicator.

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One of the most important things in self-development is bettering your communication skills.

We all know that one guy who maybe wasn’t the smartest guy in school but is super gregarious and outgoing. They always seem to network their way into success.

On the other hand, we know the people that just weird us out and try not to make eye contact with at work because we don’t want to get roped into a conversation with them.

Being a good communicator can take you far in life, but on the flip side it can hold you back from achieving anything with others.

Luckily, the way we communicate is the culmination of habits. Habits that we can change and improve on.

Here are three tips to improve your communication with others.

1. Use pauses effectively and in place of filler words. (This is kind of a two in one.) Nothing disrupts the conversational flow and make it seem like you don’t know what you’re talking about than using words like “umm,” “ugh,” and even “like”. When public speaking as well those words strip you of credibility and authority. Instead, pause more. Slow down, take your time and deliberately choose your next few words. Using “filler words” can be a hard habit to break but I promise you it is hurting your communication if you’re using them. Pausing more also can give the impression that what you are about to say is important. Making your message have more of an impact.

2. Be more expressive with both your tonality and hand gestures. (This is also kind of a two in one.) A saying that I heard a while ago that speaks to this is, “When we are repressive we are repulsive.” When we repress ourselves we come off as awkward and rigid but when we express ourselves we appear more comfortable and confident within ourselves. A large part of communication is body language and tonality. By varying your voices speed, volume and inflection while incorporating hand gestures we improve our communication ten-fold.

3. Speak up and with certainty. This is especially important to keep in mind when speaking with people you just met or look up to. These are things you naturally do with your best friend. Many people don’t speak as loud as they should. Not only does speaking louder help with articulation but it portrays confidence. On a scale from 1-10 on volume many people speak at a 3, give yourself the permission to speak at a 5-6 range. When you pair speaking up with speaking with certainty you great improve how confident you sound. An easy way to speak with certainty is avoiding sounding like you’re asking a question when making a statement. Specifically, ending your sentence with a higher pitch. We often fall into this trap when speaking to someone we are trying to impress. Be mindful of this.

It is helpful to look for good communication role models and copy their communication habits. Eventually, you want to add your personal flare to it but mimicking is a good place to start.

There are a lot of great communicators out there. Many politicians and actors are a good start to look for role models. (P.S.A. Good communication role models, may not be the best role models in general. lol)

There is a difference between conversation communication and public speaking communication. Ted talks are a good place to look for examples of good public speaking communication to model. And for good conversational communication look for interviews with actors such as The Rock, Kevin Heart, Russell Brand, Jack Black and others.

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